Gratitude journal Day 3

Gratitude Journal #1 May 1st

My sweet friend has challenged me to  do a gratitude journal and I will go into that in a bit why its so meaningful coming from her. But to get started here it goes.

1. I am grateful to my God who loves and cherishes me before I was born.
2. I am grateful for running water that is clean and purified unlike a large number of people on this earth.
3. I am grateful for ability on my phone or computer to be lifted up by friends through sharing of their lives.
4. I am grateful for a cat's purring, it just seems to slow my heart beat and blood pressure and stress.
5. I am greatful for a husband that cooks dinner and packs it for my lunch the next day. Helpmates and soulmates are hard to find.

More later but that is it for today.

Ellenhotch.isagenix.com

New years resolutions or just good ideas year round?

Darn where did my draft go?
Yesterday we all were about resolutions. Today two friends from church posted a link on facebook to a Catholic New Service blog by Cindy Wooden about a conversation the Pope had with Vatican employees and family that though aren't specific goals are great areas to look at (maybe on a daily basis) for self improvement.

VATICAN CITY — When Pope Francis met before Christmas with Vatican employees, mostly lay people with families, he asked them to do 10 things. The list sounded remarkably like suggestions for New Year’s resolutions:

– “Take care of your spiritual life, your relationship with God, because this is the backbone of everything we do and everything we are.”

– “Take care of your family life, giving your children and loved ones not just money, but most of all your time, attention and love.”

– “Take care of your relationships with others, transforming your faith into life and your words into good works, especially on behalf of the needy.”

– “Be careful how you speak, purify your tongue of offensive words, vulgarity and worldly decadence.”

– “Heal wounds of the heart with the oil of forgiveness, forgiving those who have hurt us and medicating the wounds we have caused others.”

– “Look after your work, doing it with enthusiasm, humility, competence, passion and with a spirit that knows how to thank the Lord.”

– “Be careful of envy, lust, hatred and negative feelings that devour our interior peace and transform us into destroyed and destructive people.”

– “Watch out for anger that can lead to vengeance; for laziness that leads to existential euthanasia; for pointing the finger at others, which leads to pride; and for complaining continually, which leads to desperation.”

– “Take care of brothers and sisters who are weaker … the elderly, the sick, the hungry, the homeless and strangers, because we will be judged on this.”

You can follow the Pope on twitter @Pontifex

These may not be something I can do daily but definitely a list to be a more thoughtful, caring, and less self centered person in the next year.

New year refresh renew

Humans need, crave ways of marking events, chances to refresh renew restart. Secularly or liturgically in most religions need  chance for renewal. So resolutions or personal goals, whatever you want to call them, fits in nicely with the start of the church year of Advent and Christmas season. My goals for the year are to focus more on body, mind, and spirit. #1 keep improving on my health and fitness plans. (See my other blog for that.)

#2 Read more (less mindless time on the computer). We don't have cable and have reduced our TV consumption quite a bit over 2 years aside from occasional Netflix or Hulu binges. Time on the computer sort of took that vacuum spot for me. So I plan to be more purposeful of my time on the computer use some of that recovered time to read for pleasure or something brain-stimulating. Which should also help, if my spare time gets taken with reading for grad school, if I get accepted for a summer start date.

#3 Spirit Bible study & daily readings from church lectionary and prayer journal purchased earlier in the year. That will be evening reading. Also, last night in New years eve a friend from college invited me to be part of read bible in a year study/prayer group. It is through YouVersion bible app. Today was Genesis Ch 1-2 AND Luke Ch 1.  I wanted  to share my thoughts on Luke 1 here that I shared this morning with the group.

Catholics celebrate today as a Holy Day honoring Mary as Mother of God. That rang like a bell in today's reading of Luke 1. Mary's acceptance in the impossible from God juxtaposed with Zachariah's doubt and questioning of Elizabeth's pregnancy. When was the last time I opened myself up to just accept God's nudge, push, plan for me without questioning? Not only that but when was I in a state if quiet expectation to hear his nudge? I shouldn't need Gabriel to announce it to me. The other part that struck me was Elizabeth's joy. Mothers understand the amazing feeling when their baby moves for the first time in the womb or the "quickening." It is exciting and joyful. I want to recapture that feeling or leap with joy as John did in the presence of my Lord. Hopefully that joy can be captured and grown for me this year and fight rising tide of negativity in my life, stresses and the larger world around me.  May God's grace and blessings flow on the members of this group this year.

So being more purposeful, and trying to focus on the big picture. I'm all about to do lists. Live by them. Google keep is my friend. But getting bogged down in my lists can be stressful and depressing at times when it gets overhwleming. Hopefully these 3 goals will alllieve some of that stress and focus on the small to the exclusion of the big picture. 

For my kids I am asking them to read 20 to 30 minutes a day 5-10 of that related to their prayer book, Totally catholic kids catechism or saint of day story. Even if school doesn't require it. I'm trying g really hard to get them to balance from the video game creep. Here's hoping. 

I know this blog isn't read by a large audience...if by anyone, but blessings for a new beginning for you and your families in the New Year.  ❤ Ellen H.

Summer means refresh, recharge, rededicate...

Ahhhh summer. Time to sleep in a little, do those fun little things with your kids you cherish and rededicate. I know we as humans have many symbolic times to restart things in our lives we know are good for us, yet we push aside in the busy-ness of just living, work, growing our families. January 1st many people start with new resolutions, Lent or Ramadan or  Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippor. For teachers and many families summer and school breaks tend to be that. Of course some folks have their vacation time so over scheduled that they often need a vacation from their vacation.  I find myself with more time to do fun thinks with my kids like an unexpected trip to Sonic for milkshakes and the library park at night past their traditional bedtimes. I find myself on the house cleaning list. Granted my house is smallish with little storage, so it will never look like a Home and gardens centerpiece, but the tide of clutter is pushed back to a de tante.... and again i find myself wanting to read, write, and research again. Whether it is started back on Catechism or finishing "New Seeds of contemplation" i promised a good friend to read and try Months ago, or reading the newest paranormal feel good fiction.....writing and sharing. That is what i want to refresh into again. And if I am the only one that reads this  or maybe a few close friends read and interact over this, I'll be content. After all I'm not a world class writer and columnist, I'll leave that job description to my better half. If you get anything out of my musings and randomailties please let me know.

PS hope to have some cool things and ideas to share during and after my Assistive technology and special ed conference next week too.

New Studies and a Restless heart

I have a good friend who is a Jewish religious teacher at a private school. And one thing I notice beyond his outreach to other religious groups is he is always talking about Studying. I read "This is My God" this summer by Henry Wouk written in the 1950s as a good summary of Jewish religious practices. What struck me over and over was the emphasis on daily studying, (that and the cool festivals I was always curious about and some I had never heard of). Not just daily prayers, and meditations most of us Christians are used to talking about and rededicating ourselves, but study. Between that and some pointed pulling of different phrases in Mass the last few weeks, and taking my kids to the summer program of faith formation at our church, I have decided to start again with a study program. 


I had forgotten how much I loved this sort of thing. I was type of girl to love college, not just the parties, marching band practice, eating lunch at the Lakeside cafe, but the classes, taking notes, hole punching articles, staying up and writing that paper or project (maybe not a fan of editing it-- excuse my spelling and grammar here also, I never will be a strong grammarian).


So I will attempt to synthesize and present, not for anyone's sake but my own, what I am studying and how it strikes me here in this blog. Maybe get a little bit of use of this bit of cyberspace I call my own. If a few people like it or get something out of it-- so much the better, but Im not overly worried about that nor my follower count. My plan isnt to "get through" it and its 2857 paragraphs but to take each small section and try to absorb a deeply, reread the Biblical sections referenced and quoted and to deepen my faith and knowledge, not just "skim" the chapters like an accomplishment.


Catechism of the Catholic Church (c)1994  


The beginning section starts with Profession of Faith and then talks about the Celebration of Christian Mystery (Mass and sacraments), Life in Christ and lastly christian Prayer.

This first section of starts talking about belief and faith. I love this quote (P will stand for paragraph) P26 "Faith is man's response to God, who reveals and gives himself to man, at the same time bringing man a superabundant light as he searches for the ultimate meaning of his life." 
The Desire for God 
God give me hear the awakening desire to know you more deeply each day, so that I "might seek God, ever perhaps grope for him  and find him, though indeed he is not far from anyone of us." - Acts 17:27 NAB. Do not let the evils of this world or my own sinfulness cause me to hide my face from the Lord as did our ancestors in the Garden (Gen 3:8-10) and Jonah (1:3) or even the mustard seed among the thorns (Mt 13:22). Make mine a "heart that is restless until it rests in you." (St. Augustine, Confessions).

"Restless" by Switchfoot

I am the sea on a moonless night,
Calling, falling, slipping tides
I am the leaky, dripping pipes
The endless aching drops of light
I am the raindrop falling down,
Always longing for the deeper ground
I am the broken, breaking seas
Even my blood finds ways to bleed

Even the rivers ways to run
Even the rain to reach the sun
Even my thirsty streams,
Even in my dreams

I am restless, I am restless
I am restless, looking for you
I am restless, I run like the ocean to find your shore
I’m looking for you

I am the thorn stuck in your side,
I am the one that you left behind,
I am the dried up doubting eyes
Looking for the well that won’t run dry

Running hard for the other side
The world that I’ve always been denied
Running hard for the infinite
With the tears of the saints and hypocrites

Oh blood of black and white and gray
Death and life and night and day
One by one by one
We let our rivers run

I am restless, I am restless
I am restless, looking for you
I am restless, I run like the ocean to find your shore
Looking for you

I can hear you breathing,
I can hear you leading
More than just a feeling
More than just a feeling
I can feel you reaching
Pushing through the ceiling
'til the final healing
I'm looking for you

Until the sea of glass we meet
At last completed and complete
The tide of tear and pain subside
Laughter drinks them dry

I’ll be waiting
Anticipating
All that I aim for
What I was made for
With every heartbeat
All of my blood bleeds
Running inside me
Looking for you

I am restless, I am restless
I am restless, looking for you
I am restless, I run like the ocean to find your shore
I'm looking for you

I can feel you breathing
I can feel you leading
More than just a feeling
More than just a feeling
I can feel you reaching
Pushing through the ceiling
'til the final healing
I'm looking for you
I'm looking for you

Taking on too much....

I admit it. I have a problem. I say yes often when I should say no. Maybe something is hard-wired into me, and alot of other moms. Especially mom, teacher, organization-types that say Yes before that little birdy says... "Isnt this too much?"

I think we do it because, we know whatever we are saying yes to is often a worthwhile endeavor for ourselves or our family. Right now, our family does Boy Scouts ("It's CUB SCOUTS mom," says Daniel), Girl Scouts with my Brownie Tess. I also sing in the LifeTeen choir on Sunday nights which also involves rehearsals once a week for an hour and a half and a total of 3 hours on Sunday including mass. I cantor once a month and now gearing up to participate in a Spring Concert choir. This is in addition to going to church as a family, housework, oh and teaching and occasionally going to the gym. I also read voraciously, watch tv and movies like most other people, and have minor addiction to social media and games, such as Facebook, Twitter, WordsWithFriends, etc. And occasionally an audience member to live music whether it is a concert at the local arena or local bar.

I am not writing this to show off my "super-busy-mommy" badge, but to just kind of step back and examine, why we (rather I) do these things, if they are worthwhile to make sure that a full calendar isnt additional stressor, but indication of a full life.

I think the question we have to often stop and ask ourselves is this "Is this activity worthwhile for my development, my family's growth, or relaxation from life's requirements and stress (work & money) or is this time that should be devoted to interior pursuits."

Keeping that balance between internal rest (reading, time spent in true quiet in church, the things we are called to do more in Lent to add perspective to our busy lifes) and my internal hardwiring of my personality which seeks social connection, and need to help others in projects (like my Brownie scouts-- did I mention I was a troop leader, not jsut a GS mom?)  Something has to give and I find myself on a metaphorical teeter-totter. The last few months-- well this year especially has been to oscillate between more activities because of the kids being older and involved in scouts and more at school, and less just "BEING" time at home.

How much is too much? I know each person has a different tolerance level. I wonder where my limit is, and will I recognize it?

Today's reading from the lectionary (http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/022512.cfm) Isaiah give us two requirements to delight the Lord.
             If you remove from your midst oppression,
false accusation and malicious speech;
If you bestow your bread on the hungry
and satisfy the afflicted;
Then light shall rise for you in the darkness,
and the gloom shall become for you like midday;
Then the LORD will guide you always
and give you plenty even on the parched land.
He will renew your strength,
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring whose water never fails.
The ancient ruins shall be rebuilt for your sake,
and the foundations from ages past you shall raise up;
"Repairer of the breach," they shall call you,
"Restorer of ruined homesteads."

Okay.... so do for others.... help. Then Lord will raise your gloom, renew your strength, and you shall be like a watered garden.

Then...
If you hold back your foot on the sabbath
from following your own pursuits on my holy day;
If you call the sabbath a delight,
and the LORD's holy day honorable;
If you honor it by not following your ways,
seeking your own interests, or speaking with maliceB
Then you shall delight in the LORD,
and I will make you ride on the heights of the earth;
I will nourish you with the heritage of Jacob, your father,
for the mouth of the LORD has spoken.

Okay... so this is the balance, to try my best to make Sunday that rest, that slowing down and pursuing that internal dialogue. 

Hard words to follow in a busy world when laundry is calling and Cookie booths must be manned (or rather wo-manned). I guess, I should just try the best I can, and focus on details for this week and creating balance now, while keeping a vague eye on future events without over analyzing my to-do lists for 3 weeks from now.... Once again to give up that worry into someone elses hands, hard challenge to take up when "Super-busy moms" with badges are used to saying yes and making it perfect for everyone else.... 

(PS If you want to know where to buy those mentioned cookies.... Cookie Locator, and Troop 20030 will be at Bobby Jones Lowes Sunday, Feb 26 from 2-6pm).